"When you marry at an early age, time may change things a little... but love grows stronger the longer you're together."
That advice comes from a farmer in Sudan, a little town about 60 miles northwest of Lubbock. I went there to learn more, and discovered the true meaning of love. This is the story of Jim and Geneva Newman.
Sudan is a sleepy little town with a one-sided main street. The road out of town stretches into miles and miles of nothing…until a little mailbox on the side of the road points to something extraordinary. Jim Newman farms this place with about 40 chickens he keeps mostly for entertainment.
Behind his farmhouse and inside a barn, you'll find a big project he's planning right now for the love of his life. It's a travel bus. He waved me over to the door and said, "Come on in, let me show you around."
He showed me a bed that he built himself. There's a place for a refrigerator and a special spot for a cabinet he's building, too. "I'm fixing it up," he says, "so we can travel and I can take the best care of her. That's the lovin' side of this deal." It doesn't take long to realize there's a lot more to the lovin' side of Jim and Geneva Newman.
"Let's give you some eyebrows." That's the way Jim starts every morning. After opening a pink bag on the table with the best light in the den, he unloads an array of female beauty stuff. "That shore do look pretty", he tells her as he pencils in her eyebrows, then carefully paints her eyeliner where it should be on both her lids. After all, Geneva was once a beautician and owned the salon in Sudan, so she knows make-up and has taught Jim how to apply it just as she would have applied it herself.
It's perfect. "You look just like the woman I married 47 years ago," He says, pleased with his work. Then, Jim gets Geneva's favorite jewelry and finishes the effort by placing a necklace around her neck and slipping earrings into her pierced ears. Although he chuckles as he whispers to me, "I might have stuck her another hole a time or two."
Then, it's time for breakfast. Jim grabs the handles on Geneva's wheelchair and pushes her into the kitchen where he begins to feed her, chatting and sharing bites and sipping from the same juice glass. "Here, this'll make you live longer. Try this," he says.
Geneva had a stroke about 10 years ago that left her totally dependent on Jim. Her challenges really began, though, when she was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis just 2 years after they were married. They had 2 children but the disease led to irreversible nerve damage.
Geneva hasn't walked for nearly 20 years.
"Are you ready… One two three." Jim says that every time he leans over Geneva to lift her from her wheelchair into the recliner she prefers. It is obvious that Jim does everything for Geneva. He makes it just as obvious that he feels blessed for all the years they've had together. He smiles when he says, "47 years: if you're married to the right woman, it's a short time. And I've been married to the right woman."
So what's the secret… to looking at love as a privilege and not an obligation? Jim says, "When one is having trouble, the other one gains strength in a marriage. if you're really deeply in love with one another, if she can't do something, I'm gonna do it for her. And it gets better. Love gets better the longer you're married."
It's hard for Geneva to say much anymore, mainly because of the stroke. But it's obvious she adores her valentine. So, Jim explains their love like this: "She tells me she loves me and I tell her I love her about twice a day or more. And we ain't changing our mind."
When Jim said that, Geneva looked at him like he was the man she married nearly 5 decades ago. She managed a little smile and said, "I love you with all my heart and I always will. "
Perhaps that's the real lesson learned here at the Newman house…that true love is more than just something you say on Valentine's Day.
Geneva leaned over to Jim for a kiss. Jim held her face with both hands and told her a promise he has likely repeated dozens of times… "You'll be my Valentine for another year and as long as we're here and I love you. I told you when I took you for better or for worse, I didn't care what the deal was. It's gonna be alright. Everybody has highs and lows, but so far, the highs has outrun the lows."
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