(This report is told from the pig's perspective.)
Nestled in a bale of grass, a few flies for friends, I was completely happy until... the politicians arrived. At first I thought they were joking. 'Piggy,' they said, 'Help raise some money for the American Diabetes Association by getting kissed by a politician.'
"At lest around $500," said city hall employee Angela Pesina. They weren't kidding. Angela passed the hat around downtown. "It's a city function, so we had all the city employees donate during the week," said Pesina.
Then the mayor added pressure. "I think it's important that we got out and help raise some money so they can find a cure," he said. I agree, of course, but how was I supposed to know that they'd actually make me go through with it?
To make matters worse, he kissed me twice, and didn't even notice my eyes. "Did it help that the pig has blue eyes?" a reporter asked him. "You know, I didn't notice that," he said.
Of course, you know politicians, always looking for the limelight. Next there was some guy with suspenders, and then two ladies. The things I do for charity. Thankfully, a reporter let me speak my mind. "What was it like being kissed by the mayor?" he asked. "Grunt!" I answered. I'm a pig of few words.