Couch Potato: Auburn visits LSU; Tennessee faces UF - KCBD NewsChannel 11 Lubbock

Couch Potato: Auburn-LSU, UT at Florida fairly interesting; Troy hopes to heat Mullen's seat

Will Muschamp strides the sidelines searching for answers to the challenges posed by the interlopers from the land of the Volunteer. (Source: UF Communications) Will Muschamp strides the sidelines searching for answers to the challenges posed by the interlopers from the land of the Volunteer. (Source: UF Communications)
Auburn players celebrate with great exuberance after last week's comeback win over Mississippi State. (Source: Todd Van Emst) Auburn players celebrate with great exuberance after last week's comeback win over Mississippi State. (Source: Todd Van Emst)
LSU's much improved QB Zach Mettenberger will attempt to exploit Auburn's defense, which has been vulnerable to the pass this year. (Source: WAFB) LSU's much improved QB Zach Mettenberger will attempt to exploit Auburn's defense, which has been vulnerable to the pass this year. (Source: WAFB)
  • AlabamaMore>>

  • Former 5-star QB Barnett transfers to USF after 'Bama, ASU

    Former 5-star QB Barnett transfers to USF after 'Bama, ASU

    Friday, May 18 2018 2:11 PM EDT2018-05-18 18:11:51 GMT
    Blake Barnett (Source: University of Alabama Athletics)Blake Barnett (Source: University of Alabama Athletics)

    Former Alabama and Arizona State quarterback Blake Barnett, once a five-star recruit, has transferred to South Florida, where he'll be immediately eligible to play with two seasons remaining.

    Former Alabama and Arizona State quarterback Blake Barnett, once a five-star recruit, has transferred to South Florida, where he'll be immediately eligible to play with two seasons remaining.

  • Alabama, Texas announce home-and-home series

    Alabama, Texas announce home-and-home series

    Wednesday, May 16 2018 4:40 PM EDT2018-05-16 20:40:24 GMT
    Source: WBRC graphicsSource: WBRC graphics

    The University of Alabama and The University of Texas have announced a home-and-home series between the Crimson Tide and Longhorns. The Tide will travel to Austin in 2022 and the Longhorns will come to Tuscaloosa in 2023.

    The University of Alabama and The University of Texas have announced a home-and-home series between the Crimson Tide and Longhorns. The Tide will travel to Austin in 2022 and the Longhorns will come to Tuscaloosa in 2023.

  • Alabama-Louisville to kickoff ABC's Saturday Night Football

    Alabama-Louisville to kickoff ABC's Saturday Night Football

    Wednesday, May 16 2018 12:19 PM EDT2018-05-16 16:19:13 GMT

    National champion Alabama will face Louisville in ABC's first Saturday Night Football game, and Miami plays LSU on Sunday night of the season-opening weekend.

    National champion Alabama will face Louisville in ABC's first Saturday Night Football game, and Miami plays LSU on Sunday night of the season-opening weekend.

  • LSUMore>>

  • LSU football enjoys team outing at original T.J. Ribs restaurant

    LSU football enjoys team outing at original T.J. Ribs restaurant

    Tuesday, August 11 2015 9:37 PM EDT2015-08-12 01:37:12 GMT
    Tuesday, August 11 2015 10:06 PM EDT2015-08-12 02:06:19 GMT
    The LSU football team took a break from the sweaty grind of fall camp Tuesday night to enjoy some team bonding and great food.
    The LSU football team took a break from the sweaty grind of fall camp Tuesday night to enjoy some team bonding and great food.
  • LSU football wants return to 2011 defense

    LSU football wants return to 2011 defense

    Thursday, August 6 2015 3:15 PM EDT2015-08-06 19:15:51 GMT
    Thursday, August 6 2015 3:36 PM EDT2015-08-06 19:36:51 GMT
    LSU may have ranked No. 1 in the SEC defensively last season, but many fans and analysts agree that wasn’t an accurate reflection of how the team actually played. 
    LSU may have ranked No. 1 in the SEC defensively last season, but many fans and analysts agree that wasn’t an accurate reflection of how the team actually played. 
  • LSU football reports for fall camp, Miles says Bain was never reinstated

    LSU football reports for fall camp, Miles says Bain was never reinstated

    Wednesday, August 5 2015 12:06 PM EDT2015-08-05 16:06:42 GMT
    Wednesday, August 5 2015 4:52 PM EDT2015-08-05 20:52:04 GMT
    On a steamy and sweltering morning in south Louisiana, the LSU football team officially reported for the start of fall camp. The Tigers checking into the West Campus Apartments Wednesday morning, with their first practice set for Thursday. 
    On a steamy and sweltering morning in south Louisiana, the LSU football team officially reported for the start of fall camp. The Tigers checking into the West Campus Apartments Wednesday morning, with their first practice set for Thursday. 
  • Texas A&MMore>>

  • Game winning shot rattles out, Ole Miss falls at Texas A&M

    Game winning shot rattles out, Ole Miss falls at Texas A&M

    Tuesday, January 16 2018 11:44 PM EST2018-01-17 04:44:02 GMT
    Source: SEC NetworkSource: SEC Network

    Tyler Davis scored 20 points, including Texas A&M's final basket, and the Aggies defeated Mississippi 71-69 on Tuesday night for A&M's first victory in Southeastern Conference play this season. The Rebels' Breein Tyree missed a 3-point attempt at the other end that rattled in and out as time expired.

    Tyler Davis scored 20 points, including Texas A&M's final basket, and the Aggies defeated Mississippi 71-69 on Tuesday night for A&M's first victory in Southeastern Conference play this season. The Rebels' Breein Tyree missed a 3-point attempt at the other end that rattled in and out as time expired.

(RNN) - As far as football on TV goes, Saturday provides a good window of opportunity to pressure-wash the driveway before the winter snows.

These games are so bad that Couch Potato could probably go ahead and predict the outcomes without offending insane, hyper-sensitive troll fans so that they throw flaming bags of weapons-grade plutonium on his front porch.

But we're going to quote Pulp Fiction anyway – at least the quotes we can repeat in semi-polite company. We refer, of course, to Quentin Tarantino's 1994 neo-noir, black humor crime thriller that has been often imitated but never equaled.

"I'm trying Ringo, I'm trying real hard to be the shepherd."

Tennessee at Florida

3:30 p.m. ET, CBS

Both teams recently deflated the SEC aura of invincibility: The Vols got Duck-stomped last week and Florida had infinity turnovers in a loss at Miami. The Gators have had two weeks to fine-tune their offense, so now they can execute all six plays. This may be UT coach Butch Jones' best shot at a signature win before Obama leaves office.

"Oh man, I shot Marvin in the face."

Arkansas at Rutgers

3:30 p.m. ET, ABC

This is a big game for Arkansas and Coach Bret Bielema, husband of shockingly gorgeous rage tweeter Jen Bielema. The Hogs have a chance to go 4-0 before beginning a relentless eight-game hell-march through the SEC. Rutgers has beaten Norfolk State and Eastern Michigan, which indicates precisely nothing. Their quarterback Gary Nova is questionable after taking a shot under the facemask early in the EMich game. Arkansas has roared past Louisiana-Lafayette, Samford and Southern Miss by accumulative scores of 89-38.

"Say ‘what' again."

Colo. State at Alabama

7 p.m. ESPN2

Colorado State head coach Jim McElwain was Alabama's offensive coordinator during the 2009 and 2011 national championship seasons; both years, the Crimson Tide ranked No. 1 in the nation in beating other teams and seventh in the SEC in offensive red-zone performance. Last year, the offense averaged 42.7 points per game and last week, it out-footballed Johnny Football, 49-42.

Next week, Bama plays Ole Miss, which is beginning to look suspiciously like a real football team.

"We should have shotguns for this kind of deal."

Auburn at LSU

7:45 p.m. ET, ESPN

Auburn's Nick Marshall did heroic stuff in last week's 24-20 comeback win over Mississippi State, leading an 88-yard, winning drive in about 90 seconds for the Tigers' first win over an SEC opponent since the War of 1812. He also caught a 36-yard pass to himself, which is not an easy thing to do. LSU looks like it might be really good, but the season-opening win over TCU grows less impressive as the Frogs do things like look miserable losing to Texas Tech.

If Gus Malzahn can deploy his genius to get some production out of the three-back rushing committee, LSU is vulnerable. If not, not. LSU plays Georgia next week, so there's that to think about.

"The miracle you witnessed. I witnessed a freak occurrence."

Troy at Miss. State

7:30 p.m. ET, FSN

These teams have played interesting games in previous meetings. A loss would be devastating for Dan Mullen's tenuous hold on authenticity. Troy QB Cory Robinson is more accurate than a lot of drone strikes – he completed a universe-record 30-of-33 passes in the season opener against UAB and is hitting about 75 percent of his passes. The Bulldogs got torched by Auburn's passing game last week. Defense is not a thing Troy does much.

"Zed's dead, baby. Zed's dead."

The other ones: Vanderbilt travels to UMass as a 36-point favorite, really; North Texas is sacrificed into the yawning maw of the voracious Georgia Bulldog; SMU pays for Alabama's sins at Texas A&M; undefeated Missouri carries the SEC banner north to the lair of Big Ten weakling Indiana.

"And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers."

Copyright 2013 Raycom News Network. All rights reserved.

  • SEC FootballSEC CoverageMore>>

  • LSU football legend Billy Cannon passes away; visitation and funeral arrangements set

    LSU football legend Billy Cannon passes away; visitation and funeral arrangements set

    Tuesday, May 22 2018 6:14 PM EDT2018-05-22 22:14:17 GMT
    Billy Cannon at the LSU Spring Game on April 21, 2018 (Source: WAFB)Billy Cannon at the LSU Spring Game on April 21, 2018 (Source: WAFB)

    LSU football legend Billy Cannon died Sunday morning. He was 80 years old.

    LSU football legend Billy Cannon died Sunday morning. He was 80 years old.

  • Ohio State QB Joe Burrow announces transfer to LSU

    Ohio State QB Joe Burrow announces transfer to LSU

    Friday, May 18 2018 5:19 PM EDT2018-05-18 21:19:01 GMT
    Ohio State QB Joe Burrow (10) calls out signals during a game against Rutgers Scarlet Knights on Sept. 30, 2017 (Source: Hunter Martin/Getty Images)Ohio State QB Joe Burrow (10) calls out signals during a game against Rutgers Scarlet Knights on Sept. 30, 2017 (Source: Hunter Martin/Getty Images)

    Ed Orgeron has his quarterback. LSU will add Ohio State transfer Joe Burrow to the roster as a graduate transfer according to a report.

    Ed Orgeron has his quarterback. LSU will add Ohio State transfer Joe Burrow to the roster as a graduate transfer according to a report.

  • Hundreds pack Birmingham temple to celebrate Mike Slive's life

    Hundreds pack Birmingham temple to celebrate Mike Slive's life

    Friday, May 18 2018 4:26 PM EDT2018-05-18 20:26:59 GMT
    (Source: WBRC Video)(Source: WBRC Video)
    (Source: WBRC Video)(Source: WBRC Video)

    The overwhelming message on Friday morning? Former SEC commissioner Mike Slive was tough man who just so happened to be one of the nicest people you’d ever meet.

    The overwhelming message on Friday morning? Former SEC commissioner Mike Slive was tough man who just so happened to be one of the nicest people you’d ever meet.

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