Your Week in Viral Videos: An exercise in what to never do - KCBD NewsChannel 11 Lubbock

Your Week in Viral Videos: An exercise in what to never do

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What happens you get a wine expert to taste cheap beer? You learn that wet cardboard tastes better than sweaty grass. (Source: BuzzFeedYellow/YouTube) What happens you get a wine expert to taste cheap beer? You learn that wet cardboard tastes better than sweaty grass. (Source: BuzzFeedYellow/YouTube)
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(RNN) – It was a good week for cheapskate booze hounds.

Both Deadspin and BuzzFeed delivered with definitive reviews of beer that will satisfy no one. Deadspin tackled light beer while BuzzFeed got a wine connoisseur to critique cheap beer brands.

It says something disturbing that she knows what both sweat and wet cardboard smell like and that the smokey, woodsy, sweet, malty beer ranked lower than the sweaty one did.

She does a great job nailing down the hipster angle (spoiler alert: they like to drink sweaty grass, apparently) but missed on the beer hipsters are generally associated with. Also, white wine, purple SweeTarts and Mountain Dew all taste the same. Who knew?

An unhealthy relationship

One man loves Dunkin' Donuts and Beyonce so much he took actual time away from doing literally anything else to parody Beyonce's Drunk In Love with an ode to Dunkin' Donuts, which he is upset he doesn't have access to on the West Coast.

Hang tight, my man, it's expanding to California next year. Until then, however, we're left with this "tribute" video, which is horribly disturbing on multiple levels.

It's not cute, it's creepy

Attention ladies of Earth, it's time for some real talk.

If a man comes up behind you and barks like a dog, the proper response is not – NOT – to stop and talk to him. The proper response is to slap him senseless and then step on him as you walk away.

Likewise, if he starts twerking against you, don't give a flirty laugh and tell him he is going to get punched in the face. You should actually punch this man in the face.

And if a grown man asks if he can pinch your cheek within a couple of seconds of meeting you, this is not a man you should give your phone number to. That is a man on whom you should test your pepper spray's potency. (WARNING: A little profanity and a lot of douchebaggery.)

You're talented … but you're fired

You may remember Julie Tremmel from her fantastic report last year on bear safety. If you've been wondering what she's been up to lately, the answer is auditioning for America's Got Talent.

She may soon be auditioning for other things because she was reportedly fired following a report on America's Got Talent auditions by giving part of her report while doing a handstand. It's unclear if the report led to her firing, but if so, Rhode Island must be a soul-sucking, vacuous wasteland.

Tremmel will probably be OK because the Internet is on the case (HUZZAH!). There is a Facebook page and online petition seeking to help her get her job back. Julie, if you're reading, here's a piece of advice: Learn to hold that handstand a little longer.

Animal of the week

It's been cold everywhere this year, including Florida. Nothing in Florida can survive when it gets cold, which is doubly bad for the Florida Panther, which can barely survive – period.

There are reportedly less than 200 Florida Panthers, but there's one more than there could be thanks to the totally awesome people who found a hypothermic cub, took it to a rescue organization and made a video of it being as cute as anything that may one day gnaw your face off can be.

Awww, you guys, just listen to him try to growl. Who's going to be a soulless killing machine one day, but right now is only murdering our sadness? You are. Yes, you are. Yes, you are.

More stuff for when you're bored

The best week of the year is the first week of baseball season because the premium baseball package is free and that means listening to Vin Scully do things only Vin Scully can do – like describing a kid rolling around in the grass like it's a greater human achievement than landing on the moon. http://m.mlb.com/video/topic/21753540/v31395637/arilad-vin-scully-in-awe-as-fan-rolls-down-a-hill

Comedian Seth Rogen testified in front of Congress about Alzheimer's disease. No, really, he did. And he knew what he was talking about. No, really, he did. Once you get past the failed attempt at humor by a Senator in the first minute, Rogen reveals some actual depth and human character heretofore never seen. No, really, he did. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHqx3-mfHAY

The half-court shot isn't as difficult as everyone makes it out to be, and everyone celebrates wildly whenever one is made because it's always for some ridiculous prize. In short, it's overrated. Unless it's at a Coaches for Cancer event and you shoot one-handed – because you only have one hand. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Mws-bl9l0s#t=0

Speaking of overrated basketball (which is all basketball, amirite?), NBA players playing H-O-R-S-E on a child's goal is much more awesome than it should be. http://nextimpulsesports.com/2014/02/28/nick-young-gilbert-arenas-stage-epic-shootout-fisher-price-hoop/

Ever wonder what happens at top secret government installations? Well, as it turns out, we're building Iron Man. Or not. Maybe. It's classified. Thanks, Obama. (No, seriously. Thanks, Obama. That would be awesome.) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77pnVFLkUjM

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