Area Couples Take the Divorce Test - KCBD NewsChannel 11 Lubbock

2/14/06

Area Couples Take the Divorce Test

It is a statistic we hear way too much these days. Nearly half of all first marriages end in divorce. We hope it does not happen to us, but it takes more than just hoping. So grab a pencil and paper and make sure you mark down your answers. NewsChannel 11's Christy Hartin has a so-called ‘Divorce Test’ to help you look at the state of your relationship.

For most of us the happiest day of our life is our wedding day, but will it stand the test of time?

Take the Divorce Test
Is you marriage/relationship on the road to ruin or happiness? Answer these 8 questions to find out if your spouse is right for you.

Meet Glenna and Jay. They have been married for almost 25 years. "This August 11th, it will be 25 years,” said Jay. “He said the wrong date,” corrected Glenna “Oh no! Is that one of the questions?” Jay said laughing.

Jennifer and Nathan have been dating a year and a half with a wedding set for September. "On our first date we were both sitting there eating dinner saying ‘I'm nervous, are you nervous, I'm nervous,” said Jennifer.

They are two couples at two different stages in a relationship but a Florida marriage counselor says eight questions can make a difference. Dr. Oren Hernandez says his Divorce Test can help determine if your marriage is on the right track.

1. Money is the number one cause of arguments in our relationship.

A) Never
B) Sometimes
C) Always

"Money's tight, it's going to stay tight, and we know that so we know not to spend out of our means," said Jennifer. "I think that they should communicate about money in the very beginning," says Kimberly Copeland, NCP/Family & Marriage Counselor. "We actually plan to start out with a set budget and stick to it," Jennifer says.

2. Do you believe arguing is healthy?

A) Sometimes
B) Always
C) Never

"I think how you treat each other when you argue is important," says Glenna. "If communication gets to be too aggressive, arguing gets aggressive, then it's not productive," Kimberly says. "I think arguments in a healthy way are important for the relationship in solving issues and moving forward," says Jay.

3. We have trouble communicating with each other.

A) Never
B) Sometimes
C) Always

4. I'm satisfied with our sex life.

A) Always
B) Sometimes
C) Never

5. I trust my spouse completely?

A) Always
B) Sometimes
C) Never

"I think that completely is nearly an irrational word. Can I say, ‘I trust my spouse 99.5% of the time?’ Yeah, and you ought to be able to be there, and if you're not, there's a problem in the relationship," says Kimberly.

6. Is taking time for myself in a marriage important?

A) Always
B) Sometimes
C) Never


"I made a point kind of early on in our relationship that I didn't want to feel that I had to ditch my friends or him ditch his friends. We can go do our own thing and know that we trust each other," said Jennifer.

7. I am worried that my spouse has the potential to be unfaithful?

A) Never
B) Sometimes
C) Always

"I'm not worried about it, but we know it happens. I mean, we've been surprised time and time again by stories we've heard," says Glenna.

8. Spirituality is important in our relationship?

A) Always
B) Sometimes
C) Never

"I think you need God to make a relationship work, we both think that," says Nathan. “In all honesty, I think that's the foundation of our relationship," says Jay.

To score, count the number of `A's" you have as answers. A perfect score is all 'A's.

If you scored between six and eight A's - Dr. Hernandez says - your relationship is in pretty good shape.

If you score between four and six, Dr. Hernandez says there may be something you might want to look at. And four and below? Dr. Hernandez says, definitely question your spouse.

The key to any successful relationship is communication, by now your test results should have you and your spouse talking.

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